3-word story 1

This is the first story written by the fans on the forum using the rules where each poster adds three words to the end of the story. To facilitate reading we'll try to keep the latest version up-to-date here. Refer to the original thread for attributions.


 * Early one morning, the warning sirens caused the robbers to drop the plans to return the box containing an unspeakably large walrus. The walrus, carved of soapstone, with turquoise bucket, was a gift to the Ruritanian after he had tragically been injured by a falling rhinoceros which was dropped from a mysterious Black Helicopter. The first robber turned to his minion and said, "Get that guy!" He didn't notice that behind him an Eskimo shaman was preparing to use the rhinoceros for nefarious purposes. The Shaman thrust aiming carefully for the robber's left eye.


 * The robber felt a sudden need to be elsewhere. He teleported as elegantly as he could, but miscalculated slightly and wound up in a vat of beer. He said, "Could someone please get me some peanuts? And a stein?" The puzzled brewer tossed his hops out the window onto a passing double-decker bus. They landed in time. Unfortunately, the nervous and tired brewer misjudged the angle, meaning that the hops bounced over a purple hat worn by a cow. Flowers stuck out of the hat band. The sight was hilarious, but it failed to interest the crowd that had gathered to observe the ruckus; instead they were watching a dog play knucklebones with the last remaining pieces of a velociraptor skeleton.


 * Fortunately the skull had a curious anomaly, which led to a cessation of hostilities between the soccer hooligans and the weather reporters, who had been snoring loudly. However, the Peruvian eunuchs, the Argentinian racehorse, and the dancing Acapulcan tango instructors were rudely interrupted by a BOOM! "Crikey!" said the Crocodile Hunter, and spun around to deosil, hoping that her left knee still worked. The right one was a steel prosthesis with intricate engravings of playful platypi (there being, of necessity, a certain liberty taken with the more detailed manifestations).


 * Therefore, the happy undead trees instead resembled blobs of eerily glowing ectoplasm - until they exploded, and something spear-shaped shot to the base of the flagpole. On impact, it fragmented into phantasmagorical pieces that flew upwards towards the green carapace of doom. Quietly, they recoalesced into a polka-dotted umbrella which the robbers immediately took and used as a shield against the hail of marshmallows. Immediately, they turned pale and ran back to the beer soaked bus. The marshmallows continued like sweet fluffy rampaging elephants, overwhelming the bus's windscreen-wipers with gooey magnificence.


 * A famous archaeologist climbed out of the helicopter, saying, "Don't worry, I'm from the future. At least, I will be yesterday.' Then she ducked the flying accordion and stepped into an unexpected puddle frothing with marshmallows. "At last!" cried the head robber and sprung onto a conveniently placed hippo that had been attracted by the tasty daffodils. The Court Jester leapt over the quick brown fox and landed on the hippo.


 * The many-legged Austrian flugelhorn player who the secret agent had always wanted winked coquettishly and turned to face his doom. Unbeknownst to the robbers, a giant windmill was finally teetering behind them, about to crash into Don Quixote. The windmill's mighty blades were positioned above the shining locks of the weir over leaping fish soup. The chef grinned madly and went, "MWAHAHA! Ooo, yummy!" Taking her stainless steel whisk started to whip the hippo. Alas, the hippo objected.


 * The end. (declared by Bear)

The next story started immediately.